Broken Toys and Broken Hearts

Hello Readers – sorry for the week away from writing – all has been insanely busy and to be honest, despite a few dozen topics I am passionate about and have been wanting to write about – my creativity has simply just not been there. Currently, I keep the oddest hours, often with just a few hours sleep and there has been between 1-9 people here at our workspace (and my home) non-stop for the last two weeks. Today is my first day fully “alone” for hours in a really long time. It has been amazingly fun despite the herculean efforts – and the creativity and camaraderie has been energizing to say the least.

Wicked Daddy’s personal life has been put on hard hold – and any “special” people in my life have been reduced to, well, limited texting. Friends and family who have known me longest know when I get focused in such a manner there is very little else that can sway me. I have asked even my mentees to have some patience and with the exception of a few of my mentors who won’t have me put up barriers and will just “show up” anyways – it has been a separation of normal realities and routines. (BTW – this is the Broken Hearts I was referring to in the title. Both mine as well as those who need of me). The only indulgence I have had was watching Game of Thrones with a few people volunteering to “work” that day – mainly because of the big screen, food, and (what used to be a full second fridge but is no longer) of beer.

Now the ?fun? (if not just plain entertaining) part of the last few weeks – Toy testing. In the last few months there have been well over 400 sample products that have come through for “testing” – and amazing for me there has been NO lack of volunteers across the team. In fact there are two of the models who have taken personal testing to a level that I still snicker at. They had one testing <and complete destruction> of a particular whip that I am certain that the video of doing so would go viral (but can’t publish given I am selling toys – not adult entertainment).  One partner does the “Drop from 4 feet onto cement” test (The broken heart dildos in the cover image shows the result). Another has devised a stress test for restraints involving a pulley crank stretched between two load bearing beams. It has been terrible fun to watch a restraint finally “snap” – even if the pressure really exceeds the equivalent of a rhino towing a pickup racing the other direction. Obviously human testing was done first, also with no lack of volunteers. I thought I was the most literal of all of us but hats off to my crew for taking “testing” so damn seriously.

(I will add photos soon – this is another area I want to close out. Instagram and launching the site and getting photos added to the blog. I don’t take risks – and honestly the only thing holding me back is getting final reviews and photo releases from my wonderful attorneys.)  

Of other fun – picture 6 people with laptops huddled together with Daft Punk blazing or dubstep pounding in the background while everyone is scouring sites to find those “special” products – all while Wicked Daddy finds manufacturers and suppliers and continues his hunt for his own favorite products of past and present. If here, You would see big whiteboards where we list of “wish” lists to source while photos of products are taped to almost every wall.

I don’t require anyone to try out products, but everyone has more than volunteered. In the ABDL space, every person in the crew – most without diaper experience, has donned one (and *ahem* fulfilled full testing) at least once. There have been more than a few runs to Home Depot or Office Max while diapered for many as well. The running gag is that the warehouse will have Diaper Tuesdays for all the employees and that I personally should be thrilled about that given the reduced loss in productivity caused by bathroom runs. (Why “Tuesday”? – I don’t have a clue….)

Paddle and whip testing has also crossed almost everyone – if self induced or volunteered to test the “feeling” (Although I think most prefer to have a whack or 10 at Wicked Daddy more than anyone else). Many a paddle has been broken and we have a collective conscious on “quality” of product – especially given the most common ones in the market place may look like quality – but have the impact equivalent of being slapped with a feather duster.

Our Media Coordinator “AKA ProductPrincess” wants to pull together a section of one or more of the sites  just for showing the quality of products we have tested from the current marketplace (as well as testify as to why they didn’t meet our bar to carry at all). Speaking of bars – there is a shiny silver spreader bar quite popular in the marketplace right now that is unfortunately total crapola. The end caps fell off with little effort and the rings snapped even with our smallest person testing. Stuff like this is a rallying cry from all of us and has been the strongest (pardon the pun) “bonding” moments around our mission statement to bring wicked, quality, and usable products to the masses at fair cost with great customer experience.

15 New Things I know now thanks to this adventure so far:

  1. There are three measures of usage for a vibrating wand, but only one really matters (This as eventually I want to manufacturer the most powerful affordable wand).
  2. It’s not what an anal plug is in as much as what is in the anal plug
  3. Paddles, Whips, Flogs, and Canes are best measured in decibels of the strike as well as vocally from the person receiving the strike
  4. The only smell you want from a good product sample is leather.
  5. The best test for product cleaning of any porous material is melted chocolate with a few drops of green dye. (wow – another DIY tip for product testing!)
  6. The best test of nipple clamps is to shake like a shaggy wet dog. (No animals were harmed in testing of these – promise)
  7. Laytex is FUN. Use lots of talcum powder.
  8. The ML absorption of an adult diaper is equivalent to 1000 per single #1.
  9. There are two things critical to know about fully testing adult diapers. #1, and # 2
  10. Can it still be called an adult size baby bottle of the contents is whiskey? Wouldn’t it just be an adult “Drinking safely and no spills” bottle at that point?
  11. Bed restraints are pointless if you’re testing on an ikea futon
  12. Suspended anal hooks make great handles for “pull ups” exercise (Wicked Daddy came in #2 in reps….sigh)
  13. Glass toys on the wall make better conversation pieces that state spoon collecting
  14. Ask suppliers to put the invoices INSIDE the delivered shipments. Met a neighbor from around the corner when box was delivered to wrong address. Nothing like multiples of Anal Toys being listed and having to knock on your neighbors door asking “I think these are yours…?”. I am hoping for her to ask me on a date soon….but no calls yet. I am officially “That Guy” in my neighborhood.
  15. My regular delivery driver now has a permanent smile when he has a delivery for me. I wonder what he is expecting as a Christmas gift. (Feel free to offer me suggestions in the comments)

The remainder of this week is more product shoots, maybe some model shoots, and Wicked Daddy getting a 4-hour crash course in leather making from a master craftsman. Next week I get to go do some glass blowing and rope making.