If you haven’t yet seen the clips from the movie “A Dangerous Method” of a Keira Knightly being spanked to orgasm or seen James Spader spank Maggie Gyllenhaal in “The Secretary”, then do yourself a favor and watch that before you read this. (Or like I did, re-watch the first one a few dozen times before starting to write this…….Ahhhhh – and totally shameless in admitting it.)
There is something sublime about – spanking. I freely admit to being a Daddy Dom who employs spanking regularly or a man who really enjoys time with a submissive with a 1950’s housewife fetish and the joy of putting her across my knee. I also feel I personally know the pleasure of being both recipient as well as deliverer of “good” spankings.
Now the downer – I have also been the recipient (and early on) the deliverer of “bad” spanking. The spanking that is a downer. Too soft – too much – or not hitting the right spots (or worse – hitting the wrong spots). Yeah – those.
So – what does one need to know about spanking for it to be good (or even just “not Bad”)?
Without copious volumes on the subject – Lets start with the basics. Note this will be HIGHLY opinionated by myself. This is MY learned insights only.
The five important factors (yes – I am geeking out on the engineering and process of this)
- Location (Where to spank)
- Timing (patterns, or frequency – including pauses or lack of pauses)
- Impact (Form, technique, and strength)
- What (Oh yes – what is the instrument of the striking)
- Mental (The MOST important – being the WHY and the fulfillment of arousal)
Okay – Location basics.
The “Apple” of the cheeks is the prime. It is the epicenter where a strike of full force can only be delivered. The right strike will allow the muscles to release and you will have visible evidence (in your subs movement) of your effort. This is 2 to 2 1/2 inches to the right and left of the anus. My “Terminator” lenses see a target overlay when a bottom is exposed to me. This spot is most likely my first strike, as well as my last strikes.
2 inches above is what I call the “Crest” – this is an attention getting spot only – and an area for change ups only. It is tapping spot – no more than 50% max strength alone. It is used for reinforcement and for directing commands to. “Spread wider”, “Arch your back more”, “Prepare to receive and relax your body”, etc.
2 inches towards the sides/outsides of the apple is the “Smarting” spot. The right mix of muscle and fat that feels the sting the second most. It is the spot that allows marking of intensity. These marks will not last as long as the next spot, but will be felt the most initially and for the next day.
Two inches below the apple as well as 1 inch inside the thigh or 1-2 inches outside of that is the “Marking” spot. This is the where markings will be felt and retained the most. These are delivered NO more than 75% of max – and I suggest the first few endeavors here are no more than 50% of max strength until you learn the time it takes to fully disappear. This area the markings will last the most.
All other areas – those are tapping spots. More attention getters or distractions or change-ups than anything else.
Oh a personal perspective, one that appeases my autistic brain. Anticipation is a weapon I employ – a weapon of pleasure fulfillment. I do SOOOOO love patterns, and change ups is a joy to employ. Whether I use a metronome, or music, or a repeatable pattern….anticipation is a BLISS. And change up is WICKED. A little indulgence. A favorite pattern is . I….Love…..Spank.ing..Butts…..I….Love…..Spank.ing..Butts…..I….Love…..Spank.ing..Butts…..
Yes – as you read it – that is the timing and pattern. And, in multiple repeated applications of the pattern – you will SEE the anticipation of the pattern. You will see the flinching – you will see the shoring up of the defenses when it is implemented with the right force and over the time…. then …..CHANGE IT. A personal favorite…
Change up – WITH a pattern – BLISS. For you – but more importantly – for your sub.
This is the toughest to write about. There is a LOT of variation, So we shall only focus on BASICS now please.
There are two basics swats to know about – one is the swat and return, the second is the swat and stay. The first is to strike and return away from the body, the second is to swat and let the instrument stay where the swat took place (Think follow through). Both have distinct differences in form and technique as well as the feeling for your sub.
I will say for basics the swat and return is all wrist movement, and the swat and stay is a 1 1/2 foot swing. The first is *mostly* for repetitive movements and the latter is for impact play and pause. Where the former is for getting your sub to squirm, the latter is for the vocal expressions of the delivery.
Side note – for the doms trying to master this – a flashback to early training. Get a Large watermelon from the store. Strip one side to the last half centimeter of white Rhine. Use this as a practice tool. If you can draw just a hint of red from wrist movements – you are good to go. If the depth exceeds a half a centimeter – too much. For the swat and stay – look for 1 centimeter to 1 1/2. It will be red – but no deeper than this. That is your movement. More than that – too much. If you are into serious impact play – this is NOT the blog to read.
For technique – try this. Hold your wrist against a stationary post. Roll your wrist for swatting. YES – that is it. For the swat and stay – tuck your elbow to your ribs. Practice (practice practice practice). You are NOT Federer breaking Wimbeldon records. Think like that then WAY too much…..:)
Oh yes – the Instrument of impact. Know your differences between paddles, whips, flogs, hand, and canes…..
Any solid instrument – know this. The impact point is 2-3 inches from the tip – ALWAYS. You are NOT trying to cut skin – you want maximum impact for swing. When you wish Impact (cutting of skin) it is different – this is 101 training – so will NOT be discussed. For whips in this training discussion – it is 3-4 inches from tip. Ladies and Gents – safety first.
For solid instruments (like a paddle) – a perpendicular landing of the instrument will result in the greatest audible result. THAT is your goal. *PHABT* or *SMACK* – that is it. Clunkers are unacceptable.
Canes are for stings or marks. Paddles are for redness or beyond. The thinner the paddle, the more impact, the wider, the more redness. The greater the impact and frequency – the more opportunity to draw red to purple.
Whips, especially metal chain whips, are for severe marking. It is for low force repetitive whipping to occur. Same with leather but more force can be employed (but NEVER full force, especially if a good whip). For the common leather flail whips out there – well that is different. To the dom, test on yourself first. For the typical cheap whips out there – if 20 rapid lashes on your own inner forearm leave nothing but light redness – then go to town. It is just for the sound than much else.
Canes – careful here. again 2-3 inches from the tip to prevent tears of the flesh. Canes are best for tap-tap-tap for reinforcement and when used fully – the swat and stay works best.
Oh the best topic. The one that removes the previous 4 items if employed successfully. Forcibly grabbing a sub and putting her over your knee instantaneously for an infraction is a JOY to most submissives. Having all the other points nailed just adds to the experience. Ask yourself – WHY has your sub earned this spanking? (They will already be thinking of this – rest assured). You as the dom MUST make it meaningful. It must be a direct cause and effect and MUST be tempered in delivery with such a cause. The counter to this is the maintenance spanking. This is the recurring and regularly scheduled spankings that occur with training or specific DS dynamics. I personally deliver these with consistent uniformity – and employ the most basic of techniques on these. In my own mind – this is to achieve the right level of redness of the bottom only – and ends with the right level of twitching and moaning of my sub. In time they increase resistance – the ending still matches the same level of achieved twitches and moans. No more (but also no less).
A few interesting educational points of view:
and my more personal favorite read:
(Last note – Thank you RS for your contribution of derriere photo for Wicked Daddy’s blog.)