This is in response to a conversation with my friend K.L. She is an amazing free spirit still discovering the depths of her submissive side while also taking tip toes in what may be her dominant side. We just had a lovely phone conversation together and she felt there was enough value in what we discussed that she suggested I add it to the blog. The topic? what are methods and ways to show your sub that you fully recognize and appreciate that you OWN them as a possession, and give them the bliss of being owned. She wanted to know some techniques both for understanding how simple moments make her so silly wet as a sub as well as how to possibly employ such as a potential dom.
Here are a few little nuances I imparted to her
Casual usage of oiling. A lover will oil his partner with gentle care, a Sir will tease with the oiling, a Daddy would make a game out of it, but a Master – one who owns you – would oil it as simply as a mechanic would a part. It isn’t gentle, it isn’t hard – it is “functional”. When someone wants to FEEL owned, your role it to use them as an appliance. You wouldn’t tease or caress your toaster before putting bread in it would you? You also wouldn’t shove the bread in forcibly either. Without words, take your appliance by the hair, bend her over something, and just oil her for her function. Insert your fingers as the owner, and lube thoroughly as you see fit. If you must visualize, think of her as a Real Doll. Many new doms over think, and add too much love and care into it. That will not serve your sub that craves to be a “thing” for your usage. Also never forget, they hope to be your most treasured possession as well. From my perspective, that is another key nuance and a great Segway.
Being the most treasured possession. There are many ways that an owner can show their “possession” that they are favored above everything else. Here is a favorite of mine (and of my previous “possessions” as well). When a person has a prized possession – they like to appreciate it and typically place it in a spot within their home for ample viewing. A very simple nuance of this, when your “Toy” isn’t in use – put it in view of you – in a special place, position it in a manner pleasing to view, and sit back and appreciate it. Even the simple act of a few gentle tweaks to the positioning of her will show your appreciation of your ownership of such a thing. I have loved this technique so much that I had a custom pedestal built for me. I pull it out and use that to place my “Doll” on – usually in the center of the room. Imagine this as a casual example. I grabbed my sub by hair, fully naked except for her collar and cuffs, and pulled her onto the pedestal in the center of my living room. I take special care to position her, knees bent, spread wide while sitting, leaning back on her arms. I make a few adjustments then moved to my couch. I stare at the view, then get up and make a few more adjustments. No words spoken. I take a few work calls. Occasionally I get up and pace (I do that a lot while on calls). During parts of the calls, instead of fidgeting with something such as a stress ball, I have my possession to occupy my hands. Breasts are better than stress balls, fondling of the clitoris is also good for fidgety energy. Fingers in her mouth, stroking of her hair, even rubbing her thighs in appreciation of my toy. When I notice my possession getting tired of holding the position, I again grab hair and reposition my doll to my liking of another view. They are ever-present, prized – even casually, and a part of your world. I feel the keys are casual usage, lack of words being used, and just being treated as your “prized” appliance.
Situational/Event based ownership. Not for everyone or every situation – use if its right for you both. Situational or Event based ownership is your slave knowing their responsibilities for given events. A few examples.
One slave slept on the floor in my room. She was always cuffed behind her back when she slept as was her preference and joy. While she stayed with her master, and when the morning alarm would go off, she would have to crawl to it and turn it off. Without use of hands this was performed with her nose or tongue. Her next function was to go to Masters bed and roll him if needed (using her head as again, hands restrained), and honor her Master orally to wake him. Master would be awake then and un-restrain her. As master went bathroom and then entered shower, she would slink out and go to other bathroom to take care of her own morning readiness. She would return to masters bathroom and kneel before his shower as he finished cleansing. When master came out of the shower she would raise her hands with his towel. As Master dried the top half of his body she would dry his lower half – with her tongue, ensuring any drops of water were removed from his genitalia and anus. Master would move to his sink to brush, floss, shave, etc while slave kneeled behind him and used her tongue on and in his anus.
Activities like this would continue through the day – whether suckling master while he read his paper or kneeling to put on masters shoes before he had to leave. She knew the time master would return and always ensured she was kneeling in the same spot for his return, slippers and drink ready for him. It was routine, it was understood, and it helped fulfill her with specific function and purpose.
From the Slaves Perspective – sometimes your owner may need subtle nudging to help you fulfill purpose to them. This is especially true for newer Doms, as well as Doms who “think” they know your boundaries (but you want more).
Try this “Master, would you please permit me to <XXXX>”, or “Master, may I be of usefulness by <XXXX>.” Some easy ones for initial breaking the ice “Master, would you please permit me to help you relax?” – follow with message or oral honoring. “Master, how may I be of use to you right now. I am yours to use as you see fit”.
Bridging the gap. Sometimes there is a gap between how the sub wishes to be used and how the master is actually using them. I often find this to be a pre-conceived notion established early (either by a sub who is evolving or a dom not continually pushing boundaries). Regardless of causation, it is not a good situation for the couple. From the subs side – this may be of use.
“Master, your slave has grown under your ownership and can now be of better use of/by <XXXX>. Allow your slave to please show you how they/it can be of better use with <XXXX>.”
I hope this is well received. Comments/Feedback still always welcome……