I am probably more disappointed in myself than you are in me for not writing more. I am sick of apologizing to you and feeling like crap for not coming through. I won’t promise any more, I will just write when I can. Since my last post I have 17 partially completed drafts ! It’s like masturbating only halfway – I tell ya.
So where we be now – a few things
The Productions company is in full swing. Multiple crews, multiple venues, multiple events a month. This has taken quite a bit of my focus. Last night for example was an event at Seattle’s Iconic The Baltic Room. There was a rally before the event that completely destroyed parking opportunities, created an unfriendly element outside the door, and completely killed much of my efforts to fill the place at door open. Still, after all the dust was settled and despite the reduced attendance, I helped get the energy revved up by giving away dozens of Tutus for a “Dance till your tutu drops” push that lit the place up. Feedback was that it was an amazing time and my productions crew reputation came out as still being THE venue to be at.
Aside from this I am in the process of prepping my house for sale (to get out of the last of my debt as well as to have more capital for investing in my businesses). Found a new place to rent – gorgeous property and HUGE to serve as our new warehouse as well as to live in. Secluded on some land. SO peaceful, and room to breathe. The Pokestop 17.5 feet out my back door was a nice bonus too (LOL).
I got to pitch to a great investor last week – super excited for the follow up. Seems like a great guy who “gets” the mission.
The first shipments of the 53 new products arrive in less than a week and I am STOKED! Get ready for a Wicked Daddy Clothing line folks!
The furniture line is ready – just needs the photos to sell, and we’ve added in Custom Hand-Made Leather Collars from our friends at CatharticCanvas (I just have to get the photos up).
Tests on the LEDs I have made my hobby has shown much promise. I like getting my hands working on things – it helps settle my brain (when I don’t have a sub to focus on). A situation that has been hard on me personally – the sacrifice to not mentor as much and to not be personally fulfilled by fulfilling another – and to subject myself to such an absence in my life for as long as I have let it go so far – I am starting to *feel* it in ways unexpected. And still I push on…and through.
I am overwhelmed with the sheer amount of execution to get done, even if my brain is already thinking of the next twelve ventures. It is slowly coming together for the synergistic balance that optimizes 12 hours in a day. The RIGHT people are coming on board – and I know it will all come together.
So here is the deep dark aspects of where I am now. I am hopelessly romantic from the aspects of being positive (and living as drama free in life as I can). And of making the world my own. I am in the position of self-deprecation of being who I am in the decisive choice of being successful for myself and for all of those that are counting on me. It is a weird form of submissiveness that strangely feels comfortable given my personal history. I do often wonder if I position myself to be so, but also knowing my personal capabilities and nature to dominate – it is a weird dichotomy of self-reflection.
I so incredibly rarely become infatuated. I am around many amorous individuals frequently, but don’t have urges like other *humans*. No no, it is the odd little moments that have an impact on me. The one that responds with “You’ve Got This” without hesitation when you share a challenge, the person who doesn’t leave your sphere of living when things get busy, or even the unique held-back chuckle to one’s stupid jokes. It is those little moments that have tangible neuro-association to me. How odd is that? Is it the Autistic thing or is it something else? Regardless, I have found myself excited at times over such. Can I have both? I may be willing to try.